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June 18th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Happy Plow Day

Right after Father’s Day, TikTok was completely abuzz with this 11-second video (backup link) of professional pretty person Ella asking “And how dare I forget to say happy father’s day to the man that I put into Plow Pose and then {handjob gesture} cranked his kids right into his own mouth? Happy Father’s Day, babe!”

At the time of writing the video has two million views, more than 15k comments, has been shared and forwarded more than 300k times, and there are innumerable stitches and reaction videos. I guess I’d say the reactions are generally positive, but tinged with a lot of flabbergast from men and women alike. Motherless behavior, fatherless behavior, too much dommy-mommy, not enough dommy-mommy, where do we sign up, girl you’re making the rest of us look bad… people are super engaged.

You might, like I was at first, mostly just be confused. What is “plough pose”? The yoga girlies and gym people all know, but middle aged fat men like me had to look it up, or guess from the context:

There’s really nothing all that scandalous about a woman with a dominant vibe talking for eleven seconds about giving her man a handjob with the suggestion of making him eat his own cum, which itself is a not-very-uncommon fetish. (I understand that a lot of young men come by it honestly, if you’ll forgive the phrasing, from “eating the evidence” of their adolescent wankery.) So what is it about this innocent clip that made it go so apeshit viral? Speculate in the comments, if you like!

I did think that as a proper reader service I ought to do a minimal Rule 34 search for “Yoga Plow Position Femdom Forced Cum Eating”. You’ve all listened to me bitch about how Google has faded and no longer serves good search results for porn; well, this is precisely what I mean:

no plow position handjobs in Google

However, I did a bit better on Yandex, which is still willing to remember and admit that filthy femdom porn is out there:

screenshot of a hooded man being jacked off by a dominatrix as she milks his prostate with a dildo and forces him to cum into his own mouth

It’s from a nameless clip on a nameless pirate tube and the yoga won’t win any yoga awards, but it’s enough to satisfy the rule: there is indeed porn of it.

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June 16th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Who Has More Fun (Measured With Blowjobs)

Charles Engle was talking with his gay roommate about the comparative hedonic experience of single straight men versus single gay men in New York City, and the video went somewhere pretty funny:

Transcript:

One time, my gay roommate asked me, he goes, “Who do you think has more fun in New York? Like single straight people or single gay people?”

And I was like, “I don’t know. I’ve had a girlfriend the whole time I’ve been in New York.”

And he goes, “Okay, but when you were single, how many blowjobs did you get a day?”

And I was like, “You guys have more fun. You’re telling me you measure your BJs in days? You get blown the amount of times you’re supposed to brush your teeth?”

And he was like, “Yeah, on Grinder, I get like two a day.”

And I was like, “Is there, like, reverse conversion therapy? Cause I would like to enroll! Like, you know when you put something to Google Translate and it’s like Spanish to English? English to Spanish, that little flip button? Fucking sign me up! Cause if I was getting two a day, I would not complain about anything in my life.

So we started dating. And, um… I’ve truly never been happier.

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June 14th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Daisy Chain Foursome

Does this daisy chain foursome also qualify as a spontaneous outdoor orgy?

spontaneous exhibitionist foursome group sex

If you choose to believe the Dutch marketing copy in Chick #241, perhaps! Bearing in mind that believing the marketing copy in a porn magazine is always a willful choice to suspend disbelief, the machine translation reads like this:

Spontaneous sex! Just in the middle of a meadow, two men and two women are busy satisfying each other with mouth and fingers. Thanks to their clever position, everyone gets his/her needs met. For especially for the sucking lady above, it can be seen that it gives them a lot of pleasure; she clearly enjoys it and knows that she is at this moment being photographed…

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June 12th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

The Good Wife Project

Road head isn’t safe, unless you pull over and get out first:

woman in a dress with her tits out kneeling beside a 1970s car to give the driver a blowjob

Photo is from Pascha No. 3, and some sources say the woman on her knees is 70s pornstar Jane Iwanoff.

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June 10th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Blowjobs, Granola, And Divorce?

What leads to divorce? Divorce lawyer James Sexton says it’s when spouses abandon small acts of affection and love. On the Mighty Pursuit podcast, interviewer asked him “What leads to divorce?” He said “Blowjobs and granola.” Of course, there was a story behind that answer:

So I had a client, a young woman, a beautiful woman, married to a very successful guy in finance, and they had a very successful marriage, and then the marriage ended.

And we were going through this very contentious ugly trial. And we were sitting outside of the courthouse and I was chatting with her and I said, you know, was there a moment when you knew your marriage was over?

And she said, oh, yeah, absolutely.

And she said, well, this is gonna sound weird, but there was this granola that I really liked, and they only sold it at Whole Foods.

And she said, my husband used to always get it for me. She said, one day I opened the cabinet and the granola bag was empty. And I thought, oh, that’s weird, that’s never happened before. So I left it there cause I thought, oh, he hasn’t noticed, and like, when he notices, he’s gonna get more of a granola.

And he never did.

And I said to her, was there anything like that that you did for him?

And with no hesitation, she said, yeah, blow jobs. I’d give blow jobs all the time, like couple times a week. She’s like, because it took like three minutes. She’s like, I never made a decision like, oh, I’m not giving him blowjobs anymore, she decided, but it just like, life got in the way. And then, like, I realized, like, oh, yeah, it been like three weeks since I gave him one. And then it became, oh, it was months since I gave him a blowjob.

I think these are acts of affection and love.

And if the goal is for my spouse to feel loved, cared for, excited about me, inspired to want to radiate love back to me, I don’t know, it feels like a pretty good investment. Why does that go away?

I think what poisons us that we shift our mindset.

Like, it’s no longer, look what I can do. Look at the power I have to make this person feel so good in this awful world sometimes, right?

We shift our mindset from that to, I don’t owe you granola, I don’t owe you a blowjob.

You can justify almost any discourtesy or lack of love and courtesy to each other, because you can’t be in a relationship with someone day to day and not find an abundance of things to be pissed about, or to be grateful for, by the way.

So I think the death spiral for me is about you’re just focusing on all those other things. Like, you know, well, he hasn’t bought me granola. Well, you know, yeah, I didn’t buy you granola cause you’re not nice to me.

You’re both right.

Great job. You’re both right.

You have a right to your misery.

Awesome. Great job, guys.

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June 8th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

Her Approach To Enjoying Anal

There’s a scene in the billionaire romance Star Crossed by Emma Holly in which our heroine is having anal sex for the first time with her much more worldly Hollywood celebrity billionaire brand new boyfriend. When he tries to manage her pleasure, during, she tells him not to, saying she wants to experience his pleasure in the moment:

“You know you want to try it,” he teased. “You’re not that vanilla.”

“Damn it.”

Luke’s evil grin broadened. “‘Damn it’ isn’t the same as ‘no.’

She scowled at him. Her expression had no effect. He was up already, grabbing his zipper case. He dug out a condom first, followed by a white and blue tube of lubricant. A.J. couldn’t repress a tiny shiver of interest.

Naturally, Luke saw the reaction.

“Lie on your front,” he said, the words distorted by him opening the prophylactic packet with his teeth. His hard-on bounced as he rolled the rubber down. “Grab a pillow to support your hips. I wouldn’t want to put pressure on your injury.”

“I’m fine,” she said, distracted by what his hand and cock were doing.

“On your front,” he repeated.

“You’re sure I’ll like it?”

“If you don’t, I’ll stop.”

She bit her lip, uncustomarily unsure but weirdly aroused because of it. If she did this, he’d be the expert. She’d be completely in his hands. “Do you like it?”

His green eyes crinkled with deviltry. “I like it, I like you, and I fucking love your award-worthy ass. You don’t have to worry about me getting off on this.”

He was rubbing one long finger up and down the underside of his cock, like he had an itch there he couldn’t leave alone. That got her off like she could not believe. Her clit was throbbing, her pussy welling with hot fluid. She wet her lips and decided.

“Okay,” she said breathlessly. “Just promise you’ll go easy.”

“Please. I’m Mr. Easy when it comes to this stuff.”

He made her laugh at the oddest times. She rolled onto her front as he’d directed, with a bolster for her hips and a pillow for her head. She was half relaxed already. Her cheek rested on her hands as Luke swung on his knees over her. The hair on his thighs tickled her pleasantly.

“Trust me?”

“Yes,” she said easily. He squirted something wet across her back, making her wonder if she should have. “Tell me that’s not KY.”

“Massage oil. Unscented.”

When his hands began to rub the oil into her muscles, she groaned. He had the proverbial magic fingers, smoothing and squeezing tension from her neck and shoulders. He used just enough strength, just enough tenderness. She wriggled at the pleasure. It was hard to resist.

“You’ll put me to sleep,” she warned.

“I can live with that.” He ducked down to kiss one shoulder, his palms making sliding passes to her butt cheeks and up again.

She closed her eyes, taking in his decadent caresses. “You sure you don’t mind?”

“Shut up and relax,” he said.

She shut up and let him massage her until she felt boneless. He stroked her arms and her legs and even worked little kinks from the arches of her feet. She almost forgot he had an agenda when his hands slid up to her ass again.

“Still awake?” he asked.

“Mmm,” she hummed, too lax to tense again.

He wiped his hands on a towel and switched lubricants. “Let’s see if you like this part.”

He massaged between her ass cheeks, the slippery pads of his thumbs focusing sensation around her tight rear entrance. That felt pleasant enough that she became aware her clit was swelling. She squirmed then gasped as both his thumbs went in. Arousal overflowed her pussy.

“Oh,” she said. “That’s . . . not bad.”

He chuckled and kissed her nape. His thumbs stroked deeper, in and out, firmly and carefully exploring the first few inches of her passage. Maybe it was a guy thing, but he truly didn’t seem squeamish. His breath came faster as he worked on her. Doing this turned him on. That turned her on, but it wasn’t all that did.

A.J. twisted and bit her lip. The sensations his thumbs were stirring had gone from not bad to really good. It almost felt like he was massaging her pussy.

No, she corrected. It feels like he’s massaging both places.

“Ready for me to try entering with my cock?”

The huskiness of his question inspired a small shiver.

“Really ready,” she admitted.

He removed his hands, wiping them on the towel before kneeing her thighs wider. He came closer, his body heat beating over her. When she reached back for his hip, he stilled.

“Go ahead,” she said, realizing he’d misunderstood her action. “I’m not having second thoughts. I just wanted to touch you.”

A sound broke in his throat, telling her more than words could have. She’d moved him. Her acceptance, her affection mattered to him deeply.

He positioned himself before she could fully process that wonder. He pulled her cheek wider with one hand, his broad tip hot against her relaxed entry. He pushed in, and she let out a low sound herself. He went in like he was buttered — thick, throbbing, slowly conquering this new territory by virtue of his size and their mutual desire.

“God,” he groaned when he was in as far as he could go. “You feel incredible.”

The pressure was strange but she decided she liked it.

“You can move,” she said. “You’re not hurting me.”

His face turned back and forth in her hair, his breath coming shakily. “Give me a minute. I’m kind of on the edge right here.”

She grinned, abruptly enjoying this twice as much. “That would explain why you feel so big. And why I can count your pulse.”

He groaned again. He started to dig under her pelvis with his hand.

“Wait,” she said, even though she loved how good he was at getting her off that way.

“Wait?”

“You’re great at that, but I’d rather you didn’t split my attention. I want to feel what riding me does to you. I want to listen. Then, when you’re done, I’ll finish myself off.”

His prick leapt inside her. “You want to do that?”

“I do know how. Or don’t you want to see how I masturbate?”

He breathed a curse she knew wasn’t a complaint.

“Come on, Channing,” she teased. “Give me your best shot.”

“I call you ‘Alexandra,’ and you call me ‘Channing.’”

“What does it matter as long as both are terms of endearment?”

He snorted, pushed up on his gorgeous arms, and pulled back within her. She guessed he’d found his way far enough off the edge to trust his control. His return thrust was slow but smooth.

“Mm,” he said, clearly enjoying it. He drew back and pushed again. “You sure you don’t want my help?”

Her sexual nerves hummed as he crossed them. “Do your thing,” she urged.

His drive to climax was a pleasure to feel unfold. He built thrust by thrust, breath by breath, and finally groan by groan. The bed had a springless mattress, one that didn’t squeak but only thumped. In minutes, Luke was humping her vigorously enough to cause the solid wooden frame that supported it to rattle.

A.J. would admit to liking that very much.

She changed position to take him deeper, her knees and toes digging down into the covers. To her surprise, she was almost coming. Though Luke didn’t touch her clit, his rapid pumping stimulated her intensely. The involuntary sounds he made wound her up as well. He’d taken her at her word that she wanted to focus on his responses, and he’d let them off their leash. He was so nakedly excited, so primal in this forbidden act that the reaction was catching. Her fists gripped the pillow as she arched her ass greedily. His pelvis slapped her rhythmically, shoving her need higher. Though she wanted like hell to rub the hot ache between her legs, she was determined to hold on.

“A—” he gasped, “J—”

He grabbed her hips, yanking her off the bed toward him. She was on hands and knees then, forced to brace on her palms or get shoved forward. Her heart thudded crazily. Luke was going to come. His cock had gone stiffer and fuller. He grunted, drove deep, and let loose inside of her.

His ragged groan of orgasm seared itself in her memory.

“God,” he panted. He dropped his heaving chest to her back, his arms trembling as they braced him. He held there sweating for a while.

When he finally pulled out, still fighting for his breath, A.J. was more than ready to show off for him. She wriggled around onto her back and smiled up at him.

“Stay right there,” she ordered. “It’s my turn now.”

He was on his knees, momentarily occupied in cleaning up with the towel. His gaze came back to hers when she spoke. Seeing she had his attention, she crooked one leg to his right side and the other to his left. His diaphragm jerked as his breath sucked in.

“How’s your view?” she purred.

“Good,” he said breathlessly.

He was an excellent audience. He licked his lips when she stroked her breasts, his eyes tracking every motion as she circled and tugged her tight nipples. Pleasure shot through her in streaks.

He’d gotten her worked up and then some.

“I’m sensitive here,” she said throatily, “as I know you’re aware.”

“Uh,” he said, clearly mesmerized.

“I like when you suck me, but that will have to wait for another time. I need something else more right now.”

She cruised her hands down her belly, to the shallows between her hipbones. Luke swallowed hard enough that his Adam’s apple jumped. His skin was flushed from his recent orgasm, but when she caressed herself the color deepened more. Loving that, she combed her fingernails through the curls of her pubic thatch.

“You think I’m pretty here, don’t you?”

“Beautiful,” he breathed.

She smiled. His sincerity was impossible to mistake. She parted her labia for him.

“God,” he murmured. He couldn’t miss the gleam of her excitement. He licked his lips again.

“Just watch,” she said. “You’ve already done the work of getting me ready.”

In case he had any doubts, she ran one finger gently around her clit. The little rod was swollen, sensitized to the slightest touch. Her hips cocked up toward the stroke without her planning to. Luke’s hands fisted on his thighs. She saw his hanging cock had thickened, the veins that fed it becoming more visible. He met her gaze for a second then sat back on his heels to get comfortable.

“I’m watching,” he promised. “Believe you me. Please do whatever you prefer when you’re getting off alone.”

He didn’t want a display. He wanted the real deal. Considering how much she’d enjoyed him simply going for it, she decided to give him exactly that — and never mind if her technique was pedestrian.

Luke tended to rub her lightly, and was a creative genius at making her nerves sing. She, on the other hand, always used pressure. She used it now, rubbing her clit two-fingered hard and fast. She closed her eyes to shut out his presence. Hearing his quickening breathing was enough to spur her already cranked up lust. Her spine arched off the bed as her craving deepened, her shifting legs brushing his where he sat between them. She remembered what he’d just done to her — how he’d sounded, how hard he’d been — and the ache rose higher. Her fingers began to slip. She covered one breast with her free hand, squeezing its peak between two fingers.

She came with him vividly in her head.

Then, because he’d coiled her up so well, she worked herself to a second peak.

She opened her eyes, relaxed and sated. He was smiling down at her. He didn’t say a word, just lowered on bent arms and pressed the sweetest, softest kiss to her lips.

“Was that okay?” she asked.

He laughed. “Alexandra, you’re never just okay.”

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June 7th, 2025 -- by Bacchus

How To Describe The Scent Of A Woman?

Dark romance author A.A. Powers posted on TikTok asking for suggestions on how to positively describe the scent of a woman’s vagina without resorting to the sweetness cliches like honey or fruit, or the tired male misogynies (my characterization, not hers) of fish or seafood. Her commenters did not disappoint:

SKEKMAL: The scent was orchid, but not the kind from bottles. It was warm, flesh-born, laced with salt and skin. A pulse of musk beneath soft floral breath. Sharp enough to stir the gut, and intimate enough to haunt the mouth.

Trish Freyre: Her scent was intimate and alive — warm like sun-touched skin, with a whisper of salt and something softly tangy, like crushed petals steeped in summer heat. It carried the quiet wildness of a hidden grove, rich with earth and something faintly sweet — not perfumed, not artificial, but primal, clean, and deeply human.

Jenn: She was wild and earthy, tangy and bittersweet like my favorite dark chocolate melting on my tongue…

If any ErosBlog commenters want to share their favorite suggestions, the comments are open, both here and on TikTok. But if you go over there, be at least as nice as you would be here!

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